The Twelve Rules of Dating in College
by MissLauraKinney
Summary: In which Laura gives Derek terrible advice because she thinks he's dating a woman. Or the one where Stiles and Derek work in a sandwich shop, and Derek is too masochistic to ask Stiles out.
1. Chapter 1

Derek Hale stood outside the apartment he shared with his sister. He'd been waiting there for her for an hour. This whole thing could have been avoided if she'd just given him a key! He let out a loud grunt of frustration and kicked a tree stump.

"Easy there, you might break something important," Derek whirled around to see Laura, hands in her coat pockets, looking on in derision. "I've kicked harder, I'll be fine" He protested, ignoring the throbbing in his toe.

"I meant the stump." She deadpanned, continuing to judge him. "I can feel you judging me with your eyes!" He grumped, pulling her into a hug and surreptitiously stealing the keys from her pocket. "Ah ah ah," She snatched the keys back from his outstretched hand. "You know why you can't a key,"

"No I don't." He did. It had happened about three years ago, Derek was twenty, just starting college, and oh-so foolish. He had fallen hard and fast, that was the way the Hales were, after all, for this beautiful girl. Her name was Kate, or so she said, and she was perfect. She had taken Derek in and showed him things he never knew existed, she had opened up a world of possibilities—until she slammed the door shut and left him out in the cold. They had been a few hours outside of L.A. Right by Beacon Hills, and Derek had stopped to get groceries. Kate had complained of a headache, so he told her to head to his house, and handed her the keys. When he got there a little over an hour later, he found out she had stolen everything. And the cherry on top was a month later when she'd tried to burn the place down to collect the insurance money. No one had been hurt, but still Derek hadn't been able to bring himself to return to school till this year.

Derek knew Laura didn't blame him, but she hadn't let him touch a key since.

She rolled her eyes, and shoved the door open. "You want coffee?" He slipped off his shoes and followed her to the kitchen. "That's okay." He pulled the pitcher of milk out of the fridge, and tipped it to take a swig. "Cup!" Laura shrieked at him swatting his hand with a dishtowel. He took his glass of milk and retreated to his room. Maybe he'd watch some 90's cartoon or something.

Xxxx

The next morning was hell. Derek woke up thirty minutes late, leaving barely enough time to grab breakfast, and was in the car before he realized he hadn't showered. It was too late now. He jumped on the freeway and hoped his teacher wouldn't notice he was late.

He noticed. And not only did he notice, but he also asked Derek to stay after class. "Mr. Hale, is it? I hope we aren't going to have problems with each other," Derek shuffled his feet uncomfortably. "I don't have a problem with you, sir. And I hope I don't do anything to cause any problems." Pr. Harris gave a tight smile. "Wonderful. I'll see you next week." Derek took the abrupt end to the conversation as a dismissal.

The afternoon was kind of hell, too. He was failing world religions, but that was no surprise. A bird had pooped on Laura's car, and the cafeteria was closed due to sewage leaks. He had to go an extra twenty minutes off campus to get food. The drive was nice, though. Lots of trees. And…more trees. He sighed an turned a particularly sharp corner. _Maybe Laura will forgive me for the bird poop if I bring her a burger?_ Somehow he kind of doubted it. He pulled up to the café, and parked as far from any other car's as possible. The café was fairly packed, which, given Derek's picky taste, at least indicated what they served was popular. He ordered a club sandwich and a large coffee and began filling practice bubbles for the mid-term.

"Giant mutant turtles, but not like, Mutant _Ninja_ Turtles, just mutant turtles." One of the guys at the table behind him was talking again. Loud and obnoxious. Just like his graphic t-shirt. And his friends. And the frustratingly cute red converse trainers with sharpie all over them. Derek turned back to his own work, intent on ignoring them. That is, until one of the kids spilled coffee all over the table (and apparently several very expensive computers). They all hopped around screaming, and trying to soak up the mess with napkins. That was about the point Derek decided to go do his work somewhere quieter. Like a machinery. Or a metronome factory.

He gathered up his books and food and pushed his chair back. Right into a girl. She was about his height, with a pink sweater on. But he didn't doubt she would destroy him. She turned around slowly, as if giving him a head start to run. Her eyes were narrowed, and very, very angry.

"I am so sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you—here, how about I buy you a coffee?" Derek offered. Her friends instantly jumped in. They began to talk at the same time, so it was rather jumbled, but Derek got the gist.

"It's okay!" Came from a slender brunette with Bambi eyes.

"Will you buy us coffee, too?" A shorter boy that Derek could only describe as 'Puppy-like' shouted.

"Don't bother, she doesn't drink coffee, and for that matter, neither should you—" The mouthy redhead stated.

"She's not available." Followed the other comments by a second or two. This came from the boy with the graphic tee. Derek eyebrows shot up. Had Converse really thought he was asking her out? Not that she wasn't pretty, but HELL no! He tried a softer approach talking to them, though.

"Um, no. Not what I meant. At all. Just to make up for it!" He explained, painfully aware of Converse's unwavering gaze on his face. "The bumping. Into her, I mean." _Dear_ _God, stop talking, Derek! _

Slowly the group nodded their heads, glancing at each other for approval. "Thanks for the offer," A small Asian girl he hadn't noticed before spoke up. "But She really doesn't need more to drink. And I think we've seen enough coffee for today," She smiled, and just like that the conversation was over. Her group went back to what they were doing, talking and trying to rescue laptops. Derek stood stunned for a few moments before he gathered his wits enough to walk out of the store.

Xxxx

"How was the first day of school?" Laura asked from her spot on the couch, her feet up on the armchair. _It was hell. "_It was fine." He replied, looking at the Chinese food she had in her hands. "Where am I supposed to sit?" Laura was taking up both the couch and the armchair. She silently pointed at the floor.

Six hours and four episodes of Drop Dead Diva later, and Derek was finally reading to talk about it. He shifted her feet off his lap, and turned to face her. She began to whine, but quickly fell silent at the look on his face. She hopped up and disappeared into the kitchen, returning immediately with a carton of ice cream and two spoons. "Bowl." He reprimands, but she waves it away.

"Tell me everything."

He takes a deep breath, and everything rushes out. "I met someone, and—"

"Hang on, hang on. You _met_ someone?! It's what, the first day of school?" Her eyes narrowed. "It isn't the teacher, is it?" He gagged, thinking of Mr. Harris. "Ah, no. Definitely not!"

"Good." He knew she was remembering Kate, who had been a substitute his first year of college. She seemed satisfied with this, and nestled further into the couch, waiting for him to continue.

"Okay, so I was at the café, you know the one on Hawthorne? And these kids behind me were being really loud, and—"

"Wait, when you say kids, you mean—"

"Yes, teenagers!" He huffed his annoyance. "Don't go all caveman on me! I'm still bigger than you!" She swatted him with a throw pillow.

"Laura, seriously?"

"Right, sorry. Go on."

"Anyway, they were really noisy, and clumsy, so I decided to leave, but I bumped into this girl, and she got really upset, so I offered to buy her coffee, and all of her friends started yelling at me and must have thought I was hitting on her, because her cute friend stood up and said that she was taken, and—"

"Wait, did you like the girl, or her friend?"

"The friend! The girl was okay, I guess, but never mind!"

"So, I apologized, and left. But I swear Converse was judging me the whole time." Laura blinked at him.

"You named her friend Converse?"

"I needed to use something, and as they didn't really seem in a hurry to give me their names, I picked that," he crossed his arms defensively. "What do I do?" Laura was too busy laughing to answer.

"Laura!" He whined. "I don't know anything about those kids, and we kind of got off to the wrong foot, I want to fix things!" Laura gave him a scrutinizing look. "You mean you want to see that friend again, and find out if—" he cut her off with a wave of his hand. "Just give me some advice!"

"Okay, go back to the café every day, and if you see 'Converse' or any of their friends, go over and apologize profusely, then ask your crush out,"

Derek rolled his eyes, "You make it sound so…"

"Easy?"

"I was going to say elementary school, but that works too."

She stuck her tongue out. "Bitch."

"Jerk."


	2. Rule 2

#2) Don't judge a hipster by his cover.

Derek began to spend more and more time at the little café (which he would soon learn was called Stilinski's Sub Shop, but that's another story), He went there for lunch, stopped by after class, and even, on the occasional mornings he was up before his alarm, got breakfast there. But never once did he see Converse or any of his friends.

After about a week of moping around, waiting for the brunette to make an appearance, he was offered a job working the sandwich station during the lunch hour. He told himself he needed the job for extra cash, but he knew he wasn't fooling either himself or Laura, who looked all too knowing when he gave her the news.

The Saturday after he was hired was a busy one. Mr. Stilinski called in some of the other employees to assist. This included, but was not limited to, the puppy-like guy Derek had seen with Converse, a busty blond with a severe attitude, and a tall black guy who was built like a mountain. They introduced themselves, and got to work. Nearly fifteen minutes into the shift he saw a familiar mop of disheveled hair. His heart skipped a beat. _Stupid romantic,_ he tells himself. But that didn't stop his traitorous heart from thumping loudly. It was him. In the shop. With another of his beautiful friends. Why were all of his friends so gorgeous? Derek would feel insecure if they didn't all seem completely crazy.

"Isaac, you're late!" Mr. Stilinski hollered from the back room. "My fault, sorry!" Converse shouted back, "Car ran out of gas," Converse and Isaac shared a look, one that clearly said, 'we were not trying to gas up the car, we were playing video games and forgot to check the time.' Derek was distracted by a customer, and by the time he looked back over, Converse was nowhere to be seen.

An hour later Derek decided to take his break. He'd done nothing but talk to disgruntled patrons for the last sixty minutes. Mr. Stilinski deemed him good enough at handling disgruntled customers to man the check-stand. He was flattered, but exhausted. He told The Busty Blond, Erica, she said, as she swatted the back of his head for calling her that, he was sitting down, and watched for the replacement checker. Soon though, a conversation hit his ears.

"Don't worry ma'am. We'll get this figured out." Converse was reassuring a woman, who was upset about ordering something without nuts, which clearly had nuts. Derek swooped over to intervene, it being his job to take care of customers, after all, and not some teen in a beanie's. "What's the problem here, ma'am?"

She frowned, "Well, like I was just telling this young man here," Derek turned to glare at Converse, who wilted under the gaze. "My brownie had nuts, and I specifically asked for one without nuts! I'd like my money back, please." Derek silently cursed himself for the mistake. He opened his mouth to respond, but Converse got there first. "Actually, as you can see here on this sign," Converse pointed at the ingredients listed in front of the cookie display, "All of our brownies have nuts. If you want a nut-free dessert, please go look in the allergen case." He pointed to the other side of the store. The woman stuck up her nose, and marched to the display case.

Derek whirled to face Converse. "What the hell are you doing here?" He looked confused, "I work here,"

"No, really. What are you doing?"

"I'm serious. I work here!"

Derek huffed. Right. He didn't worked here. Derek paused. _Oh my god he works here!_ "You, work here?"

Converse nodded. "Yeah…You do too."

"I've never seen you,"

"As I recall, you've seen more of me than most of the people here." Derek noticed the red flush of his cheeks, but didn't comment.

"You don't work here." He insisted. "I haven't seen you." _I would know, I've been looking._ He thought.

"You haven't seen me cause I only work the rush." The implied _dumbass _made Derek want to punch him.

Mr. Stilinski poked his head out of the office. "Stiles?"

"Yes dad?"

"I need my heart medicine."

"One second, dad." Converse—_Stiles—_ gave him a wink and headed off to assist Mr.—_his dad— _In the office.

'_Well, shit.'_ Derek thought to himself, pulling his apron back on. '_Laura is going to have a field day.'_

Xxxx

"Derek! Seriously! You left your pants on the couch," Laura screamed, very unhappy with her too-big little brother. "Come down here and get them!" Derek groaned from where he had flopped on his bed. "No. You bring them to me,"

"No way in hell!" She screeched. "My feet hurt! I'm not walking up all those stairs to bring you clothes you left on my couch!"

"Just move them." He curled further into himself. "Seriously? Why the self-pity? Derek, what did you do?" Laura put her hands on her hips and stomped up the stairs to collapse next to him on the bed.

"Why do you assume I did something?"

She sighed, "Because I know you. All you ever did as a kid was cause trouble."

"Remind me again why I talk to you?" Laura snickered, "Because you love me!" He wished that weren't true. "Derek. If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to call mom and tell her about the time you stole her car to drive that girl up to look-out point, and you got your—stuck in the—and then she—" Laura dissolved into giggles, which were only fueled by Derek's deepening glare.

"Fine. You remember I told you about Converse?"

"Your tiny little crush? Yes! Of course I remember," He glared. "You remember when I called you earlier to tell you about a customer who was taking over my station?"

"Um-hum." She nodded, picking at a stray thread on Derek's bed sheet. Derek was silent. Laura's hand stopped pulling. "Oh My GOD! That was Converse!"

Derek hung his head. "Yeah, the one and only."

"And lemme guess, you were an ass?"

"Yes. And guess who Converse's dad is."

"Oh no, I think I know where this is going,"

"Yeah. Mr. Stilinski."

"Jeez, Derek. What did you get yourself into?" He sighed. "I don't know." He really did pick the worst crushes. Not only was Con—Stiles—frustrating and detached, but he was also quick, and late. He was dangerous.

Xxxx

"Plate." Derek tossed the comment at her as he walked past the kitchen where Laura was hunched over the sink, chowing down on a piece of pizza. And another. And another.

"Shcruw uiw!" She spewed.

"I have to go to class, let's talk about whatever this is later."

She nodded her consent, and he walked out. _God I hate my life._

Xxxx

Derek pulled up at the café, getting worried before he even stepped out of the car. Usually there were two or three cars in front of the shop around the time it opened. Today he was the only one in the parking lot. He got out of the car, and headed into the store.

No one was there. "Hello? Anybody here?" There was no answer. _What the hell?_ He caught sight of a slip of notebook paper on the counter.

_Derek, left for the hospital. Don't bother staying._

The note was signed with an unintelligible signature. Derek furrowed his brow. And drove towards the hospital.


	3. Rule 3

Chapter three Rule #3) Subtlety, the art of.

Derek drove as fast as he could to the Hospital. He had no idea what was wrong, but if it had something to do with Stiles he had to know. The Bluetooth device he'd tried to install in the car lay forgotten (Read: broken) in the passenger's seat. Giving up, he pulled out his phone to call Laura.

"Hey, you've reached the answering machine of Laura Hele. I clearly don't give a shit about you, and that's why I didn't pick up, but if you feel fairly confidant I'll call you back, leave a message. I dare you."

Derek pinched the bridge oh his nose, forgetting he was clutching his phone with that hand, and hitting himself in the face. "Laura, cut the crap."

"Hey little bro, what's up? You sound worried," Laura's scary (read: frustrating) imitation of the voicemail machine was something she loved to do when she wanted to hear what you had to say, but not wait around for the message. On a good day, it was a game he and Laura had fun playing. Today was not a good day.

"I'm headed to the hospital. Don't know when I'll be back. I'll get dinner there." He moved to hang up, but her shrill cry stopped him.

"What the _**HELL**_ are you doing at the hospital? Is everything alright? Are you alright? What's going on?" He could hear her bustling around in the background, getting ready to drive after him for answers.

"I don't know." He quickly filled her in.

Xxxx

"Hey!" Derek flagged down a nurse. "I need to find my friend."

She smiled complacently. "What's the room number?"

"I don't know,"

"Name, please."

"I don't know that, either." He was starting to feel incredibly stupid. She raised her eyebrows. "How about you go sit down over there, and try to figure out who your friend is, and then I can help." She pointed to a small waiting area. He sighed, and stuffed his large frame into the plastic chair.

About an hour of waiting later, and Derek was starting to seriously consider his decision to run off to hospital without any information, to see people he barely knew.

"No, what's wrong with THAT plan, Derek!" He muttered to himself, jumping as another voice chimed in, "What plan?"

"Holy shit! Where did you come from?" He asked, glaring at the lanky blond. Ian…Isaac! Isaac silently pointed to the front doors.

Xxxx

"I still don't understand what happened! Or even who's in the hospital!" Isaac pushed his shoulder into Derek, using his body like a buffer to push Derek where he wanted.

"It's the Sheriff."

"The…Sheriff? Why is everyone here, then?" Derek glanced at all of their somber faces, growing closer the more steps he took. Stiles stood near the door, foot tapping, tear tracks down his cheeks. Derek fought the urge to run over and hug him until he felt better. "Hey, Stiles? You okay?" He called Stiles didn't give any indication he heard. Isaac looked at him curiously.

"Mr. Stilinski doesn't just own the sub shop, you know. He's also the Sheriff of Beacon Hills. The sandwiches are just a hobby." Derek stood shocked, his mouth open as Isaac continued. "In fact, he's barely ever there. Stiles runs it, mostly. Even though he's so young."

"Derek Hale. I'm going to KILL YOU!" Laura screamed, launching herself at him. "I was so worried when you called, I thought you were dying!" She threw her arms around him, and squeezed.

"Laura, please. People are watching." He muttered. Which only made her hug tighter.

"Good, I want people to see how much your sister loves you!" She made a face, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom, wait here." She hurried off.

"Where would I go?" He wondered loudly, eliciting an amused look from Stiles. Derek took that as an invitation to walk over.

"Hey, you okay? I mean, obviously you're not, but can I do anything?" In response Stiles turned and wrapped his arms around Derek. "Thank you for being here. I know we got off to a bad start, but you seem like a nice guy, and I just want to say—"

"Thanks." Derek cut him off before he could work himself up more. "So, I was wondering. Do you maybe want to g—" A beeping noise interrupted. Stiles help up a hand, and stepped away to answer a pager.

"O on a date." He finished, mentally slapping himself for being so stupid. He hadn't meant to say that, it had just slipped out. Why would Stiles want to go out with someone like him? That was stupid.

He turned around to tell Stiles to forget it, and leave, when he noticed a harried looking dark-haired woman in scrubs intensely talking to Stiles. Before he could stop himself, he was stepping closer to hear what was going on.

"Stiles, please. I understand your upset, but that doesn't give you the right to take my Vocera so you can hear what's going on. We had this talk about the police radio as well,"

"And I stopped taking that!" he whined, shuffling his feet. "Don't you want to know how dad's doing?"

She smiled. "Yes. And I would be able to if someone didn't keep taking my pager." Stiles squirmed. "Fine." He pouted and handed over the small, black two-way.

"Thank you, Stiles."

"You're welcome, mom." Stiles made a face. "Hey Isaac, I'm going in." Derek didn't see the point to telling his friend that, but apparently Isaac knew something he didn't, because he immediately stepped over to the nurses station, and put on a charming smile.

Xxxx

"The bullet has been extracted, there was minimal damage done to his internal organs, but he will need to take it easy for the next month or so. Think you can do that, kiddo?" Both Stiles and his puppy-dog friend nodded, looking comically serious. "Okay, he'll be discharged tomorrow. The best thing you can do now is go home and get some rest." The boys nodded again.

"Do you want a ride home?" The words were out of Derek's mouth before he could stop them. Stiles turned around, eyes wide.

"Is that a yes?" Stiles slowly nodded. His friend began to jostle him with his elbow, to which Stiles hit him on the back of the head.

"yeah, let's go!"

Xxxx

Derek walked Stiles out, and held open the door. He cursed himself for being an idiot, but Stiles didn't seem to notice. He was uncharacteristically quiet.

"Do you want to talk?" Derek asked. He knew how the uncertainty of these situations hurt.

"Sure. But not about this." Derek could see Stiles struggling to keep himself in the moment, to not fall into the shock of things. He wanted more than anything to wrap him up, and kiss away the numbness. What he really did was nod.

"Okay, how about we talk about the day we met?"

Stiles gave a half smile. "You mean the day you yelled at me for not working at my dad's café?"

"I was thinking the day you spilt coffee all over your friends' computer."

"Oh yeah, that was Lydia. She's a….Tyrant at best." Stiles chuckled. "I actually wasn't the one to spill it, believe it or not. It was Isaac."

Derek snorted. "Sure."

"It was! If you want to point fingers, why don't we point at the guy who can't even stand up out of a chair correctly!"

"Hey! I apologized!" He quieted a bit, "Is she still mad about that?"

"Who, Malia? She's over it. Memory span of a goldfish, that one!"

"Kinda like you," Derek commented.

"Hey!" Stiles complained, socking Derek on the arm.

"Bitch!" Stiles eyes widened. Oh shit. That sounds bad to someone who doesn't understand. He opened his mouth to apologize—

"Jerk!"

Derek had to pull the car over they were laughing so much. As the laughter died down somewhat, and they were sitting in companionable silence, filled by the occasional giggle, it occurred to Derek that Stiles hadn't really known him, and had hugged him anyway.

"Hey, Stiles? Malia, your girlfriend, are you two happy?"

"Malia isn't my girlfriend."

"Really? Good!" Stiles looked at him, brow furrowed. "I mean, not that you aren't together, but…" He trailed off.

"She's very pretty, isn't she?"

"I guess so, yeah," Stiles replied.

"Why aren't you two going out?"

Stiles started to respond.

"Derek!" Laura's angry voice filled the car. "You left me at the hospital?! I was throwing up!"

Derek and Stiles glanced at each other. "At least you were at the hospital?" Derek tried.

"Ha-ha, good one Der-Bear!" She sounded severely pissed off.

"Just drive home," he sighed.

"You took my car."

Well shit.


	4. Rule 4

Rule #4) mixing business and pleasure will never end well.

Stiles was incredibly quiet the entire ride home. Derek had attempted to make conversation a few times, but he'd been met with a stony silence he didn't know how to refute. Usually he was on the other side of the silent treatment. He pulled into the driveway.

"Here you go." Stiles gave a small smile, and unlatched the car door.

"Wait," Derek caught his arm, and pulled him back down into the car. "Are you mad at me? Did I do something to upset you?" Stiles sighed. Derek was suddenly very aware of just how close he had pulled Stiles.

"No," he hesitated. "No. You didn't." Derek barely heard him, far too busy counting the freckles scattered across his nose. "Derek? What are you—argh!" Stiles pushed him away with contempt. "Were you going to KISS me?! After everything—After Malia—you, ass!" He gave Derek one last half-hearted shove to the chest, and hurried out of the car. Right before he closed the door, though, he leaned back in to say,

"I thought you were different. I mean, I knew you liked Malia, but it never occurred to me that you would try to make a move on me! Are you using my crush against me to get closer to her? You know what? Whatever!" he slammed the door shut with enough force that Derek cringed.

xxxx

Stiles hurried inside, slamming the door and whirling around to lean against the door frame. He waited until he heard Derek's car start up before he slid down the wall, the tears that had been threatening to spill over finally breaking free.

He didn't know if he hurt because Derek had clearly been interested in someone else, or if it was because he assumed Stiles liked him, but he did know one thing. Derek Hale didn't really want him.

Xxxx

Derek stood outside the apartment he shared with his sister. He'd been waiting there for her for an hour. Because apparently Laura was too smart to keep her house key on the ring with the other keys. No, she had to have put it somewhere separate. He tapped his foot against the sidewalk, scuffing the sole.

"Easy there, tiger." Finally.  
"Hey, took you long enough."

"Says the man who abandoned me and stole my car. I had to take the bus, Derek. The bus!" Laura looked positively outraged. It occurred to him that he rarely ever saw her any other way anymore.

"It was so dirty!" She continued. The Hales' weren't a snobby bunch, despite the money they had earning them the title of upper-class, but the bus was something Laura had simple never encountered before. Ever since she was a kid there had been someone to take her places. A parent, a relative, friends, her own car, and even the occasional car-owning boyfriend. Cam had owned a car in high school. It was a nice car. Very….red. Truth be told, Laura didn't really remember what his car had looked like. She'd been rather preoccupied with the inside.

Derek rolled his eyes. "Can we go? I have work tomorrow." Laura unbolted the door, and stole her car keys from his pocket.

Xxxx

It was three in the morning, and Derek had school tomorrow. Which is exactly why he should have been asleep. Sadly, he was not. His phone had decided to go off, leading to a very irate guy yelling at him.

"I'm sorry, who did you say were again? Sorry, I don't know a Scott. I work with you? Stiles friend? Ohhhh, the puppy-like one. What's up?"

"Three things!" The angry voice slurred into the phone. "One, why you hurt Stiles? He didn't do nothing to you!"

"I didn't hurt—I didn't MEAN to hurt Stiles. He got confused about what I was doing."

"Oh. Okay."

"So what were the other things?"

"Oh yeah, you can't go out with Malia!"

"I don't want too! That's what Stiles was confused about. I don't like her."

"Why not? She's really nice!"

"I like her, I just don't want to date her," Derek tried to calmly explain. It didn't go so well. He ended up hearing a crack as he held his phone tighter. Which he wouldn't have been doing if Scott had stopped talking.

"Look Scott, or whatever your name is, I have to go. It's the middle of the night."

"Oh yeah. Buh-bye!" the phone shut off with a click. Derek groaned, and fell back into bed.

Xxxx

"Derek you have to go to school. Or work. Or at least get out of bed." Laura stood by the bed, spatula in hand. Despite her nagging Derek had yet to move even an inch. She poked him in the side.

"Derek, I even made those pancakes you like," She wheedled. No response.

"Fine. Go to school and work today, and if you don't like it you can quit, no questions asked. And I'll deflect mom and dad's questions."

Derek was up out of bed like a spider on a hot-plate. Dragging to the bathroom, and wishing the whole time he was still in bed, Derek wondered what it would be like seeing Stiles today. Or if he would avoid the shop altogether, knowing Derek was working.

He splashed some cold water on his face, and tried to make his appearance as normal as possible. Something white caught his eye in the wastebasket. He picked it up and examined it. It was a plastic stick with numbers on it. It looked familiar.

"Laura? What is this?" He held the stick out of the bathroom to show her.

"Oh. That's, um…a diabetes test."

"What's the verdict?"

"Inconclusive." She sounded stressed. He decided to drop it, and go to school.

Xxxx

"Mr. Hale, I'm afraid that if you don't pick up your grades, you will be asked to leave the program, and re-apply next year." Pr. Harris shuffled some papers around on his desk, clearly trying to look busy.

"Is there any extra credit or something I could do? To pick up my grades? I know I've been doing poorly, but I've been kind of busy lately."

"Hardly an excuse, Mr. Hale."

"I know, Sir." Derek noticed how his teacher liked to saying his name as many times as possible during a conversation, maybe to make him feel inferior, Derek didn't know. He did know that it was creepy as hell.

"I would suggest joining the paper. They are short one staff member, anyway."

"Wonderful, thank you sir!" Derek headed to the advisors office to get his schedule updated.

Xxxx

Upon entering the café, Derek noticed a suspicious lack of everything that looked Stiles-like. He spent a good ten minutes moping, until he noticed a quiet group of girls in the corner, glancing over and whispering. A few of them looked vaguely familiar.

"Excuse me, do you know Stiles?" He asked, knowing the answer already. One of the girls giggled. Derek recognized her as the loud-mouthed redhead who'd lectured him about coffee their first meeting.

"Do we KNOW Stiles? Honey, we like, invented him." The girl next to her elbowed her. "Lydia, play nice! Sorry about her, she bites," Bambi eyes gave a sympathetic smile.

"It's okay, I have a bunch of sisters." The girls nodded, giving him 'what are you doing here' faces.

"Can you give Stiles a message? Tell him I'm sorry, and I can explain, he misunderstood,"

"Why don't you tell him yourself?" Lydia suggested, stepping to the side to reveal Stiles walking up to the table, holding a bag of pastries and looking confused.

"Tell me what?" he asked. "Oh, hey Derek."

"Hey Stiles. I wanted to tell you that I was sorry for what happened, and that you misunderstood. I don't want to go out with Malia. At all. In fact, I was kind of wondering if—"

"You don't want to go out with me?" Malia blinked at him. "Guys like to go out with me." The Asian girl he'd seen before tugged her arm, whispering at her to sit down, and stop bothering people. He watched as Malia promptly plopped down into the smaller girl lap and leaned in to peck her on the lips. He was sure his mouth was wide open. Stiles grinned at him slyly.

"Told you she was taken." Derek shook that off.

"So I was wondering—"

"I heard my friend Scott called you in the middle of the night. I'm so sorry about that! He was really drunk," Stiles was clearly not listening to Derek at all.

"That's okay. Do you want to maybe—"

"Good, I was worried you'd be really mad, cause he interrupted your beauty sleep, and then you'd hate me, and that would be bad!"

"DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?!" Derek hollered, very aware of how quiet the shop had gotten. Stiles turned bright red and nodded mutely.

"Okay, I'll meet you at eight, Thursday night at the Bistro by the pier?"

"Sounds great," Stiles squeaked out. The Sheriff poked his head out of the office.

"Stiles, my heart medicine!"

"I have to go!" Stiles scurried off. Lydia turned to Derek, smirking slightly. After all, she knew full well that 'heart medicine' translated to 'get your ass in here so we can talk' in John Stilinski.

"What?"

"Just wondering why it took you so long to get your head out of your ass."

"Not everybody can be as perfect as you, Lydia." The Hollister model lounging in the chair by the window drawled. Another of Stiles' stupidly attractive friends. Derek walked away, leaving the pair to argue. He had a date with Stiles! Finally!

Now he just had to complete that extra credit newspaper project.


	5. Rule 5

Rule #5) I Do is a Promise That Should Be Kept.

"You WHAT?!" Laura shrieked, spaghetti sauce dribbling down her chin. "Why didn't you ask me first?" Drops of sauce flew out of her mouth and landed on the table. "Napkin," Derek ordered, frantically searching the kitchen for his phone.

"Hello?" He ignored her, deciding he would have to leave without it.

"Seriously, Derek? We're going to have to talk about this at some point!"

'Not if I can avoid it,' he thought. "What time is it?"

"Ten, why?"

"I have to go, work!" He rushed to the door before she could respond, but a thought was cleared behind him. He turned. She stood smiling evilly, holding the keys in her hand. He groaned.

"What do you want to know? You get five questions."

"Why didn't you talk to me about this?"

"It just sort of slipped out. He was talking, and I sort of shouted it at him." Laura looked like Christmas had come early.

"And he STILL said yes?" she started laughing gleefully. Derek checked his watch.

"I have to go!"

"Right, right, sorry! When are you going out?"

"Tonight."

"TONIGHT! How long ago did you ask him out?" She looked positively predatory. Derek murmured something unintelligible.

"What was that?"

"About a week ago."

"SO WHY IN THE NAME OF GOD DID YOU WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL ME?!" She narrowed her eyes, and stepped closer, her finger jabbing his chest accusingly.

"Sorry, that was number 5!" he snatched the keys from her outstretched hand and practically ran from the apartment. He could hear her frustrated scream behind him.

"You TRICKED me! Well don't expect dinner!" She yelled.

"I don't need you to make me dinner, I'm going out," he reminded her.

"Crap!"

Xxxx

Derek sat with his keys in the ignition. Joining the newspaper had been a spur-of-the-moment decision. One he was seriously starting to regret. He had no qualifications, or experience. He was an Architecture major for god's sake! He thought about leaving. A loud rap resounded through the car. He turned to look at the window. It was Erica from the Sub Shop; she was pulling her large black friend by the hand, and knocking on Derek's window. She motioned for him to roll the window down. He sighed, and obliged.

"Hey! Ms. Blake sent out here to see if you were coming in!" Erica leaned into the car, her breasts perilously close to his face. He coughed uncomfortably.

"Yeah, just… texting my sister," he finished lamely, seeing the knowing look on her face.

"It's okay. I was super nervous my first day, too. But it turns out I'm the top gossip columnist!" She gave a shrug like she thought it wasn't a big deal, but it was clearly a source of great pride for her. Derek glanced at her friend. He grinned, and pulled Erica away from the car so Derek could get out.

"C'mon cutie! Let's get you in there!" Erica grabbed Derek's arm with her free hand and dragged him towards the editorial building.

Xxxx

The first thought Derek had upon entering the building was that it looked more like a church than a newspaper office, with high gilded ceilings, and pictures of Christ on the walls. The second though Derek had was lost as soon as the gorgeous, leggy, brunette previously referred to as Ms. Blake stepped into his rang of vision. She extended her small hand, a flirtatious smile playing with her lips. Behind him, Erica huffed.

"Hi, you must be Derek. I've heard lots about you," She pressed her warm hand into his, and smirked. "I can't wait to show you all around the paper," She ran her fingers up his bicep, her smile growing wider.

"Come on, I'll make you right at home," Her tone left no room for argument, so Derek followed her away from his new-found friends. He glanced back, the distinct feeling of being led into lion's den growing stronger. Boyd shrugged, and Erica was too busy furiously tapping on her phone to look up. What had he gotten himself into?

Xxxx

It was late in the afternoon, and Derek had realized that his first impression of Ms. Blake was completely wrong. She was pretty, yes. But also desperate and flirty. The entire editory tour her hand had been on his leg. The more obvious he made his discomfort the more she seemed to come on to him. Eventually he decided that any reaction was an invitation to continue, so he ignored it. But that was becoming increasingly harder to do as she made rounds through the room, stopping every few minutes to glance over his shoulder, breasts pressed into his back.

"Derek? Can you come here for a moment?" Ms. Blake beckoned him onto her office. He glanced in worry at the drawn blinds. He walked in, nerves on high alert, and sat down in the chair opposite hers. She chose to sit on the desk in front of him.

"Now, down to business." She leaned forward, her tight skirt riding up her legs. Derek cleared his throat.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," he said, praying it wasn't what he thought. It was.

"Let's cut to the chase. I like you, you obviously like me," She motioned to herself flirtatiously. Derek caught a glance of something flashing on her left hand. "Why don't we, get to know each other a little better?" He smiled, and leaned forward to catch her hand with his own.

"Thank you for the kind offer." He brushed his fingers over the back of her hand, feeling the tell-tale band underneath. "But I'm not sure your husband would appreciate it so much," He dropped all pretenses, and her hand. "Look, I'm just not interested. You're very pretty, yes. But I have someone."

She glared. "I'm sure I could make you forget about them for one night,"

"I'm not interested." He remained stoic, not letting on how worried he actually was. Women like this had always been able to manipulate him. Her mouth fixed in a small line, but she didn't try to stop him as he stood up to go.

"Of course you are." She said. "Men are always interested in me." She hopped off the desk, and strolled towards him, her fingers twirling the buttons on her shirt. Derek backed up, colliding with the door. He fumbled for the handle behind him as she leaned close and licked his ear. He could smell the flowery perfume she was wearing. The scent made him sick.

"You know you want it," She shoved her hands up his shirt, running them appreciatively over his stomach. He scrambled to find the knob with no luck.

"I could make you feel so good." She moved her attention to the button on his slacks. He pushed her away, and his elbow hit the handle, shoving the door open and propelling him backwards into the floor. A loud AHEM! Sounded above him, and he looked up to see all five feet, six inches of stiletto wearing death standing over him. His heart dropped into his stomach. In turn, Erica grinned.

Xxxx

"I can't believe you would do something like that!" She slapped him again, and then shoved his head into the sink, attempting to wash the lipstick marks off of his neck, cheek, and ear.

He spluttered on water as he tried to reply. 'Something like what?' he said just as much to her.

"Something like what?" In response she yanked on the back of his neck, forcing him to look in the mirror. 'Ohhhh,' he thought. His hair was disheveled, and there were pink stains on his collar. His slacks were hanging open, and his shirt was rucked up in the front.

"No, Erica wait! This isn't—" She didn't listen, pulling him out of the bathroom by his ear. "Boyd?" She hollered, her grip on Derek tightening painfully.

"Erica please, listen—" She didn't. "Take the trash out to the curb, will you?" Boyd picked Derek up and threw him over his shoulder like he was a bag of flour instead of a two hundred and thirty pound grown man. Derek's face was squished into Boyd's back, but he could hear Erica's heels clicking on the uneven pavement.

"Put him down here." She ordered. Derek was tossed into the asphalt. Erica had a devious look on her face. That couldn't mean anything good.

"You know, you're actually lucky." Derek looked at her, failing to see how he was getting anything good from this situation.

"yeah," She continued, "If Isaac were here, we'd be disposing of a body, not car keys." What? Car keys? Oh crap! Erica reached into his pocket and pulled Laura's keys out. "He killed his dad, you know." She said conversationally, tossing the keys up into the air and catching them.

"Erica," Boyd warned, growling deep in his throat. A sound that would seem silly were it anyone else doing it, but on Boyd it was terrifying. Erica flapped a hand.

"I know, I know. What gets said in group stays in group." She turned back to Derek. "See, nobody messes with Stiles. He's important. He helped us all when we needed it most, and in turn, we make sure no one hurts him. Ever. So run away like the trash you are. Before I change my mind about getting Isaac involved!" She gave him a kick, and he scrambled up off the ground.

Erica strutted over to the Camaro, Laura's keys clutched tightly in her hand, and scrapped a huge mark down the side of the car. She smirked and tossed the keys into the duck pond across from the parking lot.

"Buh-bye, DER-BEAR." She snapped her teeth at him, and pulled Boyd away. Shit, Stiles. He needed to get to the pier before Erica called him.

Xxxx

It took two and a half hours to get to the pier. Unsurprisingly, Stiles was nowhere to be found. The rain started to beat a tattoo on his head. Derek stood in the dark until Laura came; silently wishing the ground would swallow him up.


	6. Rule 6

Rule #6) Sandra Bullock is Not a Good Relationship Model.

To Laura's credit, she didn't ask too many questions when Derek climbed into the back of her boyfriend's car, soaking wet and miserable with a pink lipstick mark on his neck. She even waited until they were home to ask where her car was. When she saw the look on Derek's face, though, she hugged him, and told him to wait while she got ice cream. Derek didn't even have the energy to tell her to grab a bowl.

"What kind of ice cream do you want?" She called from the kitchen. Derek grunted, and Laura's boyfriend shifted uncomfortably on the chair across from him.

"Hey, sweetie? Should I go?" He asked, on the edge of his seat, eager to leave.

"No no, stay! This will only take a minute!" Derek could hear Laura bustling around in the kitchen and wished she would just get in here already. Her boyfriend sighed and settled back onto the chair. Laura walked in, barely holding onto the half dozen ice cream containers stacked in her arms. She eyed the seating arrangements.

"Derek,"

"Yes," Was his muffled response.

"If you don't move, I will make you spend the rest of the evening talking to me while I sit on my boyfriend's lap." Derek pulled his feet up to make room at the end of the couch.

"We really need to buy more furniture. One chair and a couch really isn't cutting it anymore." She commented. Derek grunted again.

"Der, baby, what happened?" She crooned, using a voice she hadn't since he was a kid. He found he didn't really mind. She slapped her hands down on the armrest.

"Goddamnit Derek! I have been really patient with you these past couple of weeks, and I didn't ask when you called me to pick you up at the beach at ten thirty at night, I didn't ask why you were soaking wet, and I didn't ask where my car was! But I need answers, okay? I'm not just gonna sit here and let you—" Her boyfriend reached across to touch her arm.

"I'm calm. I'm calm." She closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. "Do you think you can tell me what happened at the paper today?" Derek nodded. "Okay. Can you do that?" Derek started talking, his throat hoarse from lack of use.

"I got to the paper and started wondering why I had gone because I'm not qualified or anything, and I met up with Erica and Boyd,"

"From the café?"

"Yeah, and they took me in and introduced me to the editor, Ms. Blake." Derek could see Laura's eyes narrow as she tried to put the pieces together. "She was really…nice. She showed me the office, the editing software, and her breasts." Derek shuddered at the thought of her hands on him, something about so reminded him of Kate.

Laura's mouth fell open. "What? But—you—date—why would you DO that!? I thought you liked Converse!"

"You have so little faith in me, Laura. I didn't. She came after me, and I told her I wasn't interested so she came on harder."

"Oh honey!" Laura moved up the couch to hug him to her chest. She met Cam's questioning eyes and gave him a 'tell you later' look. "What did you do then?"

"I pushed her away and left the office. Erica found me and threw me out and scratched the car. Then she the tossed the keys in the pond." Derek felt Laura go still besides him.

"Exactly how big was this scratch?" She asked in a would-be calm voice. It would be calm if it weren't for the hard edge and guarded caution to her tone.

"Just a little scratch," he responded, feeling like a petulant child being told to go to bed. Laura looked skeptical, but let him continue.

"I walked to the pier but it was really late, so…" he trailed off, and inspected his hands.

"No! Converse was gone!" Laura moaned, whacking her palm against her forehead. Derek nodded, feeling worse and worse by the minute.

"Well don't you worry. The best thing to do now is go to the café, and apologize. Converse'll love a public declaration!" Laura exclaimed, smooshing Derek's face between her hands.

"Eur eyu shyayr diz weyl wuyrk?" Derek slurred.

"What?" Laura let go of his face.

"Are you sure this will work?"

"Absolutely! Have you never watched a rom-com?"

Xxxx

The next morning Derek pulled Laura's boyfriends car up to the Sub shop. Laura's boyfriend who Derek hadn't even known had existed. Laura's boyfriend Derek didn't know existed who he had still not been introduced too.

As soon as he stepped into the store he was struck by how quiet it was. He wondered if it had been quiet all day, or if it had been just since he walked in. He stepped behind the counter and pulled on his apron, intent on getting at least a little work done before Stiles showed up. He knew it could be a while given Stiles' innate lateness.

"Derek! What the hell are you doing here?" Derek looked up to see the frightening redhead Stiles had called Lydia standing with her hands on her hips, tapping her foot. Her Hollister model leaned against the counter to her right.

"Umm, working here?" He wasn't really sure what she wanted to know. He did, after all, work there.

"No you don't. Not after what you did to Stiles! You have no right to be here!" Lydia tossed her hair over her shoulder. Her Hollister model smirked. Derek glared at them both.

"You have no idea what happened, Lydia. I have to work, please leave." Derek tried to ignore her penetrating glare. She stayed there staring at him for a good ten minutes before she finally gave up.

"I give up!" She huffed, grabbing her purse off the counter. "Come on, Jackson." The small girl stomped out, only to be replaced by an irate Isaac. He pushed his way in like an oncoming storm. In that moment, Derek almost believed he may have killed someone.

"Seriously? Your actually here? I thought Lydia was joking!" He scoffed. "I can't believe you had the nerve to come here today! Did you actually think Stiles would want to see you?"

'Um, yes?'

"No….?" Isaac slammed his hands down on the counter.

"What the hell!?" Derek stared at the angry teen, who looked about ready to climb over the counter and tear him a new one.

"Isaac, don't!" Derek turned to see Stiles hurrying across the parking lot. "Remember what Ms. Morrell says?" Isaac visibly stopped himself. Stiles pulled Isaac over a little ways. "Are you okay? Are you doing your breathing? Do I need to call Scott?" Isaac hung his head. "I was just trying to protect you," A pleading tone had entered his voice, and he seemed to be shrinking in on himself. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean—"

"Isaac. It's okay. I'm gonna call Scott." Stiles patted Isaac on the arm, and pulled out his phone. Isaac turned to Derek with a sheepish smile on his face. "Sorry. Lost control for a minute." Derek nodded his understanding. Stiles shut his phone with a click and stepped over to Derek.

"Now you." He had a murderous look on his face. "What the hell?" That seemed to be the two dollar phrase of the day. "You stand me up, and still think you can come in to work? At my café? Bitch!" Derek gave a half-hearted smile,

"Jerk?"

"No! You don't deserve to quote the goodness that is supernatural! Jerk!" Stiles slapped a hand across Derek's chest. "Don't pretend like you don't know what you did!"

Um, I don't? "I'm so sorry for standing you up, Erica took my keys and—"

"Yeah, I know! She told me! She also told me WHY she took your keys!" Stiles had it all wrong! It was all just a misunderstanding! It was quite funny, really. Derek gave a chuckle. Stiles eyebrows shot up.

"Really? That's how you want to play this?"

"Stiles, it isn't what you think. Erica didn't see what she thought she saw. My editor—"

"You mean your gorgeous new girlfriend? The brunette with her arms wrapped around your neck? Yeah, that's right. I saw!" In response to Derek's incredulous stare Stiles pulled his phone out and began scrolling through messages.

"Erica was texting me right from the get-go. She saw how you looked at her!" Stiles tossed out, in between loud tapping on his cell. "Look." Stiles held out his phone. Derek leaned in to see. He did not have a good feeling about this.

11:15 From Catwoman:

Derek jst met/editr. Supr hot n flir-t. som1 needs 2 tell derek she has eyes.

11:18 To Catwoman:

What? Did you butt text me?

11:20 From Catwoman:

Dereks flrtng 2. Opn snapcht.

11:25 To Catwoman:

Your with Derek? What's going on?

11:33 From Catwoman:

Look! Atchmnt enclosed.

11:35 To Catwoman:

She has her arms wrapped around him!

11:36 From Catwoman:

I no dumbass. Now shes wisprng in hs ear.

11:39 From Catwoman:

Shs rubbng her boobs on hm

11:40 From Catwoman:

She hs hr hnd on hs thigh

11:50 To Catwoman:

Where are you?!

11:52 From Catwoman:

nwsppr

11:52 From Catwoman:

She lft hm aln 4 nw.

3: 40 From Catwoman:

I thnk shs feelng hs biceps!

4:00 From Catwoman:

Wht r u dng? Why r u ignrng me? R u jrkng off?

4:03 To Catwoman:

What? Why would you ask me that?

4:04 To Catwoman:

I'm not, by the way.

4:30 From Catwoman:

Whn r u meetng? Hw much time do I hve 2 beat hm up?

4:35 To Catwoman:

DON'T BEAT HIM UP! YOU DIDN'T ALREADY, DID YU?

4:54 From Catwoman:

Sdly no

6:56 From Catwoman:

Drk is gng in2 hr offc!

7:00 From Catwoman:

Th blnds r clsd. Uhoh

7:30 From Catwoman:

Nvr ges wht I jst saw. Drk fell out of offc wth undn pnts nd lpstck! Atchmnt enclosed

7:45 From Catwoman:

Thrw hm out on hs ss. Chtng bstrd! Scrtchd car 2

8:30 To Catwoman:

I'm guessing he isn't gonna show up, right?

8:32 to Catwoman:

Going home. See u 2morrow.

Derek looked up from the messages. It looked really bad. "Stiles I'm so sorry! I swear nothing happened! Please, believe me!"

Stiles shook his head. "Maybe my first impression of you was right. You are an ASS!" Stiles snatched his phone back and turned away. "I don't know why I'm so upset! It's not like we're together. Or like I even like you!" Derek could tell he didn't mean the last part, but it still hurt.

"Derek! Your fired!" Derek turned to see Mr. Stilinski wearing an almost identical face to the one Isaac had been wearing when he stormed in.

"Dad! You have no right to do that! It's my café!" Stiles almost whined. Derek looked at him in confusion.

"Fine. Stiles, I strongly suggest you fire Derek." Stiles turned to Derek. "Derek, your fired." Derek opened his mouth to respond, but saw Isaac leaning against the office door frame and grinning. He gave Derek a little wave. Derek tugged his apron off, "Just so you know, I really like you. I'm sorry this happened, but I really didn't do anything. I hope you can forgive me sometime." Stiles turned away and crossed his arms, but Derek could see him trembling a little.

He sighed, and stepped towards the door. Stiles hadn't turned around. He looked at the floor. "Goodbye, Stiles." Something hard hit his chest. He looked down to see the red sharpie covered converse trainers that had earned him the nickname standing on tip-toe. He looked up and found himself eye-to-eye with Stiles. "I really liked you, too" he pressed his lips to Derek's. The kiss was over before it even started. Stiles pulled away, wiped his eyes on his sleeve and got back to work.

Derek saw Scott pull up outside, and rush in to embrace Isaac, sending the occasional glare Derek's way. Derek let out the breath he didn't know he was holding and headed out to the car. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better. And things were definitely getting worse.


	7. Rule 7

Rule #7) Public confessions of love only work if your postal code is 90210.

Derek turned up the AC and banged the back of his head against the headrest. Laura's voice was echoing in his head. He knew he had to go back to the sub shop and make things right, but Stiles had made it very clear he didn't want to see Derek again. "Uggggghhhhh!" Derek banged his head harder. "Fine! I'll do it!" Derek revved up the engine, and drove top speed away from the mini-mart he'd been parked at. This was going to be one hell of an apology.

Xxxx

The shop had gotten way more crowded in the hour Derek had been gone. There were some birthday balloons tied to the sign out front, but Derek paid them very little notice, intent on reaching Stiles as soon as humanly possible.

Derek spotted him immediately. He was sitting alone at a table, stirring a drink as people milled and chatted around him. "Stiles!" Derek called. Stiles head shot up and he looked around quickly. Derek walked over to Stiles seat and kneeled down in front of him, taking Stiles hands in his own. Stiles tried to pull them away, but Derek wouldn't let go.

"Derek what are you doing?" Stiles hissed, looking furious.

"Stiles, you have to hear me out! I really like you, and I really didn't want to hurt you. What happened was a mistake. I didn't touch her!" People around them were starting to notice, pointing and whispering. Someone said, "I think he's proposing!" and the crowd melted. All eyes were on them. But Derek only had eyes for Stiles.

"I'm so sorry. Please give me another chance," He begged, desperate to hear Stiles say he forgave him. Stiles scoffed and leaned closer to where Derek was kneeled.

"Derek, this is a kids birthday party!" Stiles' glare could freeze hot coffee.

"I'm trying to apologize!" Derek tried to get the conversation back under his control.

"Well do it somewhere else. And do it to someone else! This isn't a fucking Sandra Bullock movie!" One of the young kids near Stiles widened his eyes comically. But Derek wasn't laughing.

"You can't just screw up and then get down on one knee confess your ever-burning love for me in a public café with my entire family here!" Derek froze and looked around at all the milling patrons. They waved.

Derek groaned, and mentally kicked himself for not paying closer attention to the sign. "Shit. I'm sorry, I'll do this some other time." He quickly stood up, eager to put this whole day behind him. He apologized one more time, slowly backing up, and turned to bump right in to a woman. He glanced at Stiles to see if he appreciated the irony of the situation. Stiles wasn't even looking at him. He turned back to the woman he'd bumped into to find himself staring straight at Ms. Blake.

"You!" He watched horrified as a man came up and put his arm around her.

"Is there a problem, sweetie?" The man asked, pressing a kiss to her hair. She giggled nervously.

"No no, no problems. This young man was just leaving," Derek quickly turned and grabbed Stiles arm, yanking him from his seat. He protested but fell silent as Derek pulled out his phone, still open to the picture Erica had sent.

"Look! This is Ms. Blake!" Stiles eyes widened as he recognized her. "Jennifer?" He asked.

"Actually it's Mrs. Stilinski," The man next to her interjected. Both Stiles and Jennifer turned and yelled, "Shut up, Peter!" at him.

"Ah, I see you've met my brother's new wife, Stiles." He cast a cold glance at Derek. "Mr. Hale."

"Hold on, Jennifer here was just explaining how she and Derek knew each other," Stiles gave Ms. Blake the look that told Derek 'something's going on here, and I intend to figure out what,' It was actually quite endearing.

"He works at the school newspaper! I'm the editor, it's not too hard to put the pieces together. Even for you." She commented dryly, clearly trying to find even footing in the conversation. She turned to her husband, a pleading look on her face.

"Peter, whatever they say, I swear it isn't true!"

"She tried to molest Derek!" Stiles burst out, unable to keep it in any more. Across the store Erica visibly flinched. "But he didn't let her," Derek's heart melted at the look Stiles was giving him. "Derek was honorable and stopped her because he's a good man, he's the kind of man I want to be with," Stiles stepped towards Derek. "Give me a break," Ms. Blake muttered to herself.

"Jennifer, is this true?" Both Mr. Stilinski and his brother turned to give her identical looks of incredulously. She squirmed under their gaze, and fumbled, trying to cover herself. "No, of course not! I don't know what they're talking about," She laughed awkwardly, but it was too late. Neither man was looking at her any more.

"Dad look." Stiles handed his dad the phone, the look of shock in both Stilinski men's eyes told Derek any doubt they had was erased.

"Dad? What's going on?" Malia inquired, gravitating towards the tension-shot group, hand clutching her little brothers. Her girlfriend hovered nervously behind her. "Dad?" She got no answer. "Jen?" All three adults remained silent. "What. Is. Going. On." Kira stepped up and whispered something in her ear. Malia turned her death glare on Ms. Blake.

"Go to hell, bitch." She slapped Jennifer so hard Derek swore he heard a crack. "Yeah, go to hewll bitch!" Her brother exclaimed, smiling a gap-toothed smile. Stiles pulled Derek by the arm to a quieter area of the diner, leaving his family to argue.

"So, uh, just wanted to say how sorry I am that I didn't believe you, and I'll totally understand if you—mfph!" Stiles gave a muffled yelp as Derek slapped his hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, needed you to shut up. Don't. I was an idiot. Can we start over?" Stiles nodded. Derek took a step back and turned around. Turning back, he smiled at Stiles.

"Hey, I'm Derek. I was wondering if you would maybe want to grab a coffee with me sometime?" Stiles was grinning so widely Derek worried he'd break his face. Before he could respond, though, a blond girl breezed into the shop, holding an enormous gift box.

"Stiles!" She trotted over, her ridiculous heels making her walk in tiny little steps. " Are you okay? I heard what happened," She reached over to shake Derek's hand. "Heather,"

"Derek." Her eyes widened, she turned to Stiles. "Wha…." She shook her head. "I'm gonna go drop my present on the table!" She leaned in and gave Stiles a long kiss. His hands came up to grip her waist.

Time seemed to slow down. Derek stared at Stiles, feeling his heart clench. Heather seemed oblivious, clomping away to the table. Stiles stared back, his eyes wide, seemingly unable to form words to explain himself. Derek shook his head. "You know what? No! You played me this whole time! I'm done." Derek whirled out of Stiles reach, and left the café. The door slammed behind him, but he barely heard the noise. The rushing sound in his ears was too loud.

"Derek, wait!" Stiles called. But Derek ignored him. He was so done with dating.


	8. Rule 8

Rule #8) Faux-Pas is Not French For Happy Accident

Laura opened the door, massaging her stomach. She thought she'd heard something… Derek shot into the house. "What happened? Did you talk to Converse?" Derek silently nodded, not even bothering to stop the tears running down his cheeks. "What happened?"

Derek took a breath and explained the whole thing to her.

Xxxx

"I thought Mr. Stilinski owned the store," Derek shook his head at her.

"Wow. This is heavy, doc." Laura propped up her swollen feet on the couch. "Derek, honey, it sounds like you're too good for—" Derek hit her in the face with a pillow.

"I'm sorry; I don't know what else to say. Except find out where Converse lives, and drive over late at night. Remember that one episode of the Middle? When Axl was throwing rocks at Cassidy's window? Yeah, do that." She paused. "Maybe sing a song too,"

Derek groaned. Why did Laura's advice always sound like it had come straight from Reese Witherspoon movie? She gave him a look that said she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"C'mon Der, please…" She pouted.

"Why are you so invested in my love life?" He moved his body so his head was more comfortably positioned on her lap and tried to act like didn't he think it was endearing.

"Because I care about you, and I want you to be happy. And I think Converse makes you happy," She smiled at him. "Get up. If you wanna win Converse back, you've got a lotta work to do." She eyed up his outfit. "Like putting something on that DOESN'T look like you just rolled around in manure."

Laura grabbed his arm and pulled him off the couch. "GO!"

Derek sighed and dragged his feet up the stairs. "What if I don't WANT to win him back?" he muttered.

"What did you say?" Laura called from the bottom of the steps.

"Nothing!"

Xxxx

"I hate everything in my closet." Derek grumped. "I should just stay home." He moved to lie down on his bed. Laura caught his hand.

"Uh-uh. You stay right here. I have a surprise!" She raced out of the room. 'This had better be good.' He thought, dropping to the floor to pick up the clothes strewn everywhere.

"Surprise!" Laura screamed, pushing the last person Derek wanted to see into his room. Okay, maybe more like the second last. Or the sixth last. The list was quite long, really.

"Hey, Cora." He begrudgingly pulled her into a hug. "What's up?"

She smirked. "I'm here to help with your existential crisis." Derek blinked. "You know, a problem that's exterior to you that you're having trouble figuring out how to fix?"

"I know what it means!" Derek snapped. "I was trying to figure out how easy it would be to murder you both and dispose of the bodies with enough time to hit Sonic's happy hour."

"Tsk tsk, Der-bear. We just want to help," Derek flinched at the nickname. For some reason, he could stand it when Laura called him that, but with anyone else was just too much of a reminder of Kate.

"I'm here to pick your apology outfit!" Cora raised a judgmental eyebrow at the mess all over Derek's floor.

"Cora?" A tentative voice called from the doorway. Derek turned to see the last person he wanted in his house. Okay, maybe the seventh last. The list seemed to be getting longer.

"Yeah, Malia?" Cora stepped towards her friend, arms already filled with Derek's clothes.

"Can I go outside? I want to sit in the grass." Malia asked.

"Of course, have fun." Laura interrupted. Malia jumped down the stairs. "I hope you don't mind I brought a friend. We met in a self-defense class." Cora explained.

"Self-defense class?" Why would Cora need a self-defense class? All the Hales had been proficient in martial arts since a young age.

"Yeah, just thought it would be a smart thing to do," Cora shrugged, clearly eager to get out of the conversation. Laura leaned close to Derek's ear. "She likes a guy." He whispered. That made a lot more sense. Cora had always done things to impress guys. Like joining classes. And jumping from helicopters. Derek decided to drop it.

"Here you go!" Cora tossed over the approved articles of clothing. Derek stood frowning at the items. Cora sighed, and leaned out Derek's open window. "Malia? Come here!" Derek heard the taller girl stomp through the house. He glanced at Laura. She had her eyes screwed shut as she silently prayed there weren't footprints through her house.

"What?" Malia wasn't even out of breath.

"Do you like this? Derek doesn't want to wear it." Cora handed Malia the clothes. She scrutinized the outfit.

"Okay."

"Okay? Ummm, do you like it?"

"Yes." Malia gingerly dropped the clothes into Cora's hand and sat down on Derek's bed. Before any of them could respond the doorbell rang. Malia's head shot up. Derek sighed and trudged down the stairs.

He yanked the door open, Malia hovering at his side.

"What?" He snarled, freezing as he caught a look at the person at the door. Stiles stood nervously outside, picking his sweater cuff.

"Um. Hi,"

"Hi…" Derek didn't really know how to react to Stiles sudden appearance.

"I just wanted to say—" He stopped, staring at a spot behind Derek's shoulder. Derek turned to look too, in confusion. Malia was standing right next behind him, looking over his shoulder. He looked back at Stiles. He had his mouth in a tight line and his eyes narrowed.

"Seriously?" Stiles stared at him incredulously. "It's been what, three hours? And you already moved on!" He paused to take an angry breath. "Or were you sleeping with her this whole time?" He spat at Derek.

"What are you talking about? You're the one who had the girlfriend on the side!" What the hell did Stiles think he was doing? Stiles scoffed.

"That's actually what I came here to explain!"

"So explain!"

"I don't think I want too. You really are an ass."

"YOU ARE THE ONE THAT'S HAD A GIRLFRIEND THIS ENTIRE TIME!" Derek screamed. Stiles recoiled in shock.

"No, I didn't! You did! Heather just wanted to make you jealous! She thought I was still mad at you! So she kissed me, to make you go away!" Derek was dumbfounded. Stiles wasn't really dating Heather?

"She's been my best friend since we were kids, I don't know why she thought that was a good idea. You know what? Why am I explaining myself? I didn't do anything wrong!"

Derek laughed. "Neither did I!"

"Whatever." Stiles turned and ran back to his car, the setting sun too bright on the horizon for Derek to see his retreating figure.

"Thanks a lot!" Derek turned to yell at Malia, only to see her pushing past him.

"Wait!" Malia raced after Stiles. Derek banged his head against the wall.

Xxxx

"I heard voices, what's going on?" Laura pulled her bulky sweater tighter and eased herself down the stairs. "I swear, if I see a single footprint on my carpet—" She saw the look on Derek's face. "Oh no, what happened? I am seriously getting tired of finding you crying," She muttered.

"I'm not crying," Derek protested, his statement slightly disproven as he wiped his nose on his sleeve.

"You remember the girl I bumped into at the coffee shop a couple months ago?"

Laura's eyes widened. "Oh my god, Cora's friend?" She looked about ready to stab someone. "What did she SAY to—" Everything clicked into place. "Oh no! Converse was here! And—Oh god," She remembered the mess last month when everyone thought Derek was dating Malia.

Derek nodded. He really didn't know why he couldn't just go on a date with Stiles like a normal person. Cora hopped down the stairs, too.

"I just got a text from Malia."

"What did she want?" Derek practically growled.

"Easy there, big guy. She just wanted to say that she sent Stiles back with an understanding of the situation." Cora explained, hands up in self-defense. Laura looked from the one sibling to the other.

"Who's Stiles? I thought you were talking to Converse,"

"Converse?" Cora exclaimed at the same time Derek said, "I was." They glared at each other.

"Converse and Stiles are the same person." Derek caught the amused look on Laura's face. "What? You didn't actually think someone would name their child 'Converse', did you? It's a nickname, remember!?"

"Not much better than Stiles, really." Laura grumped, upset at having been kept out of the loop for so long.

"I think it's cute." Cora declared, as if her opinion was the only one that mattered.

"Well that's settled." Laura set her hands on her hips. "Derek, go get dressed. Cora, go get out of my house."

"Fine." The younger Hale's both pouted and went their separate ways.

Xxxx

Fifteen minutes later a tentative knock rang throughout the apartment. If the residents of apartment 23B had been going about life normally, they probably would have missed it. But as both of the flat's inhabitants were sitting (read: pacing nervously) on tenterhooks, the only noise in the room the quiet womp-womp of the air-conditioner, they heard it just fine. How they reacted to it, however, was a completely different story. They immediately jumped up and began throwing things around, as if suddenly realizing that the house was in complete disarray. The knock came again, slightly more forceful this time.

"Go, go!" Derek swatted at Laura, trying to get her to leave. "And if you try to listen in, I will know!" He straightened his clothes. Here goes nothing. He took a step over to the door, only to look down and see a big stain on his white shirt. Shit! He licked a finger, and rubbed at the mark. The stain just spread. He tried to pull the shirt over his head, but it wouldn't go over the blazer he was wearing. The result was a very large man stumbling around his living room with his shirt stuck over his head.

"Hello?" Stiles gently eased the door open, hoping he wasn't foolishly walking to his death. "Oh my god!" He stifled a giggle as he saw Derek tangled up in his own shirt. "Do you need some help?" Derek froze. Stiles? Double shit!

"No, I got it." He called, trying to move further away from Stiles before he embarrassed himself more. The result was he smacked in to a wall. Face first. Stiles hurried over, and gently peeled the shirt from the sweater, dragging them both off. His eyes widened as he took in Derek's shoulders and back. He nearly fainted when he saw the front.

"I—uh…gah!" He spluttered incoherently. Derek gave an amused smile.

"Hey," Derek desperately wished he had something to cover himself with. It wasn't that he thought he was unattractive, just, to quote Stiles, Gah.

"Hi." Stiles smiled nervously. "I'm sorry about everything. I really like you, and I think that scared me." He scuffed his sharpie covered trainer. "All my life I've looked for someone who wanted me, too. But I never found it until you. And I guess that was kind of scary." Derek was at Stiles side in a flash.

"You don't have to be scared anymore." He leaned to press a kiss to Stiles forehead, but Stiles tilted his face up at the last minute and pressed against Derek's lips. Time seemed to melt. It felt weird kissing Stiles. But a good weird. It was so different from how he'd imagined, but so much better.

Eventually Derek decided that they couldn't just sit there and kiss all day, so he pulled back. Stiles keened a little and turned bright red. He couldn't seem to stop running his hands over Derek's chest and shoulders.

"So does that mean you want to go on a date with me?"

"Hell yes." Stiles reached up to pull Derek into another kiss, but Derek stopped him.

"Right now?" He asked, worried about the answer.

"I'm free right now." Stiles smiled up at him through his eyelashes. 'Yeah, everything he'd gone through get here was so worth it.' Derek thought pulling Stiles to his car.

Laura watched Derek pull a slim girl in a beanie towards her car. 'Well, looks like things finally worked out.' She thought. 'Which is good, because I was seriously getting tired of talking to Derek about his problems. That boy barely says two words on a normal basis, but when he wants to, he never shuts up!' Laura shook her head and sat down on the couch, the twinging in her stomach continuing, but she ignored it. Her baby brother was finally going to get laid—A date! A date! That was all Derek was doing. She tried to convince herself. But who knows. He'd spent so much time pining….Laura hurriedly stopped that thought. She really didn't need to think about her brother's sex life.


	9. Rule 9

Rule #9) The Best Things in Life are Unexpected (And Sometimes Purposefully Hidden from You).

"I'm really glad we're doing this," Derek smiled, covering Stiles hand with his own.

"Me too. For a while there I kind of thought the universe didn't want us to be together!" He chuckled uncomfortably, pulling his hand away. Derek caught it and pulled it back. He looked Stiles in the eye.

"Hey. It's okay. We're together now, and I don't intend to have it any other way. Ever." Derek stopped, and hurriedly backpedalled. "I mean, unless you don't want too! I would totally understand if after everything you don't want to, and this is just a pity date. I know Allison only went out with Scott the first time because she felt bad, but—"

Stiles reached over the booth's table and grabbed Derek by the jaw. 'Jeez, even his CHIN is muscular!' He thought, pulling Derek's lips against his own. The kiss was magical. It was fireworks and church bells and dancing in the rain. It was forever and everything right now and take as much as you want. The kiss was almost a promise. It was just as good as, if not better than, the first one. He pulled back.

"I want forever. That's all I ever wanted. My dad said I was crazy when I thought it was Lydia, and I was wrong about that, but I knew I'd find it." Derek grinned. Stiles looked at his hands sheepishly. "I don't want to be cheesy, but I'm kind of in love with your smile."

"I'm kind of in love with your everything." Derek replied. He shook his head. "Is this weird? We barely know each other," He asked. Stiles bit his lip and inspected their interlocked hands.

"No? I don't think so, it feels right."

"Yeah, it kind of does," They grinned at each other for minute, sitting in comfortable silence, all worries of moving too fast forgotten.

"Hey, you want to get out of here? We could rent a movie, make some cookies, play a game," Derek suggested. Stiles looked relieved.  
"Yes! Believe it or not, I've only been on about two other dates. And the one was mostly an excuse on Heathers part to lose her virginity, so this is way more familiar territory for me." He added conversationally. Derek's eyebrows shot up. Stiles quickly backpedalled.

"No, wait! I—we—nothing…ugh." Stiles smacked his forehead against the table and tried again. "As soon as I realized what was going on, I stopped it." He blushed. "I've kind of been saving myself for someone special."

Derek nodded. "I get that." Stiles looked up hopefully. "I mean, I don't GET that, but I understand where you're coming from." Stiles raised an eyebrow. Derek internally groaned. So the guy he was dating was mentally five. Stiles gave an evil grin.

"Don't you mean, NOT coming from?" He cackled.

"Haha, very funny. Now stop before they ask us to leave," Derek hissed.

"Weren't we about to leave anyway? Why not go out in—" Stiles paused for dramatic affect. "—Wait for it—Styles!" He grinned proudly at Derek, who waited for the second innuendo of the night to kick in. Stiles eyes widened, and he dropped his head against the table once more.

"I swear I'm not doing this on purpose!" He groaned.

"Maybe we should just go…" Derek suggested.

"Sounds good,"

Xxxx

Halfway through the movie Stiles pulled away from the kiss. Derek groaned and reached to pull him back, but Stiles got up off Derek's lap completely. He looked kind of upset. Derek reached up to touch his cheek, but Stiles dodged it, moving to the other end of the worn out couch. Derek turned to him.

"What—" His phone rang. Stupid shitty timing! He clicked it on.

"What?" It was Laura, sounding frantic and a bit in pain.

"Where are you?"

"Stiles house, why? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not! I think my water just broke, but I don't have a way to get to the hospital! Come pick me up," She was almost pleading.

"Your water broke? Like….with a baby?" Derek tried to wrap his head around his sister with a baby, but failed. Surely he would have noticed if his own sister was pregnant.

"You need to come get me!" She screamed, sounding on the verge of panic. Stiles reached to take the phone from Derek's limp hand. "What you need to do is call an ambulance." He told her. Heavy breathing sounds came from the tightly clutched cell.

"Okay, okay. Come meet me at the hospital. I don't want to do this on my own." The phone beeped as she hung up abruptly. Derek turned to Stiles.

"Is it okay if I—"

"Of course we're going to see your sister in the hospital!" Stiles grabbed Derek's keys and hand, and pulled him out the door.

Xxxx

The car ride to the hospital was a quiet one. Stiles wasn't sure what to say, and Derek was too shocked to respond anyway. Occasionally Derek would look down at his phone and shake his head. Laura was PREGNANT?! When the hell did that happen? Stiles took a hand off the wheel. He reached over and placed it on Derek's knee.

"I didn't know your sister was pregnant." He started, determined to get Derek's mind off things.

"Neither did I." Derek answered. The abrupt end to the conversation made it clear that Stiles wasn't helping. So he did what he should have from the beginning, and shut the hell up.

Xxxx

As soon as they got to the hospital, Stiles told Derek to run in and find Laura, and he would park the car. But there was no way in hell Derek was letting a clumsy stranger park Laura's baby. Okay, the car that used to be more precious to her than life, but as she now had a real baby…Derek shook his head.

The next ten minutes were some of the most anxiety ridden Stiles had ever felt. Derek was so picky when it came to parking spaces. He seemed to almost forget that his own sister was not twenty feet away giving birth to a baby he hadn't even known had existed.

They finally found a parking space, and rushed inside to find Laura. Stiles immediately located the dark-haired nurse who'd yelled at him during Derek's last visit, and she directed them to the right floor.

"That was my mom." He shook his head. "Melissa. My mom's dead. She's Scott's mom, but she kind of raised me." Derek didn't quite know what to say, but Stiles didn't seem to be stopping soon, so it wasn't much of a problem.

"She's really sweet, but not much patience. And her parenting skills somewhat lack. But over all? Top-notch substitute mom." Stiles glanced at Derek. "Sorry. Hospitals make me nervous. I tend to ramble when I get nervous, and—" Derek shot him an amused glance.

"I noticed."

"Hardy har. I think this is it." Stiles stepped over to the waiting area while Derek went in to see his sister.

xxxx

Derek closed the door gently behind him. He could see Cora hovering over Laura's hospital bed. They were whispering about something, but Derek wasn't close enough to hear what.

"Hey," They continued talking giving no sign of having heard him. He stepped closer, hoping to catch a bit of what they were saying.

"Hey," He said, a bit louder. Both of their heads shot towards him. Cora had a gleeful look on her face, clearly absolutely over the moon about knowing something Derek didn't.

"So, how's your, uh, Stiles?" Cora asked putting emphasis in weird places.

"Good, good. Waiting outside." Derek dropped the pretense of casual conversation entirely, and leaned over Laura.

"Why didn't you tell me you were pregnant?" He yelled, in a low voice of course. It is a hospital, after all. Laura flinched.

"I didn't think it was important?"

"Bullshit. You knew it was important, and you still didn't tell me!" Another thought occurred. "Who's the father?!" She looked down guiltily at her hands.

"Camden."

"Who?"

"My boyfriend?"

"Oh, right…the one I was never introduced too!" He scoffed.

"I don't know why you're acting so childish about this! You're not the one who's giving birth!"

"I—but—well, ugh!" She had him there. "But seriously, why didn't you tell me?"

"You've been kinda busy with your own stuff, and I also thought you figured it out and were too uncomfortable to say anything."

"How would I have figured it out, Laura? I'm not exactly skilled in the art of detecting pregnancy." Behind him, Cora giggled.

"Well, you found that pregnancy test in the bathroom trash, so I thought—"

"That was a PREGNANCY TEST? YOU SAID THAT WAS TO CHECK FOR DIABETES!" Derek hollered. Two nurses rushed in, clearly eager to stop any problems from arising. Laura waved them away from her brother, and they hovered nervously in the corner.

"I didn't think you were stupid enough to believe me!" Derek laughed incredulously. So nice of Laura to neglect mentioning this tiny little detail.

"Plus, you've been kind of moody lately, and I thought it was best not to bother you with my stuff." Derek was dumbstruck. 'Have I really been so self-absorbed that I didn't notice my own sister was pregnant?' He mentally kicked himself. He'd been doing that a lot lately. Besides him Laura let out a strangled cry. The nurses hurried over and shooed him and Cora out of the room.

Xxxx

"She really was pregnant this entire time," Stiles rubbed Derek's back soothingly as he ranted. "And I didn't even notice!" Cora stood a little ways off, chatting into a cell phone. Derek assumed she was talking to their mother. 'Wonder if Laura told her,' He thought dryly.

"Stiles!" A harried looking Isaac Lahey ran through the ER, being towed behind an older, more serious looking version of himself. He looked vaguely familiar.

"Hey, Isaac. What's up? Did something happen? Are you hurt? You didn't hurt someone, did you?" Stiles said in a rush, hands fluttering over Isaac as if to check for injuries, or maybe blood. "Hey Camden." Stiles gave a brief nod.

Isaac shook his head, too out-of-breath to talk. Camden took over. "My girlfriends having a baby. Just found out. Drove over immediately."

Huh. What are the odds that Camden's girlfriend and Laura would be giving birth at the same—'Oh my god.' Derek narrowed his eyes. 'Laura's boyfriend was Isaac's older brother!' That's how he knew him. Holy Shit.

Scott and Allison showed up, they both huddled around Isaac, crooning and placing small kisses on his cheeks. Derek almost couldn't watch they were so sweet. Like vanilla. So much vanilla. He could see Camden shooting Isaac the occasional glare. It didn't make sense to Derek, his girlfriend was about to give birth, and he was too busy glaring at his brother to visit her.

Stiles popped up next to him, clearly having had enough with comforting Isaac as well. He followed Derek's gaze from Camden to Isaac. "A couple years back, about two, we were around seventeen. Isaac's dad had been beating him up pretty bad. Cam had been off in the army, and the kids' mom left ages ago. So it was just Isaac alone in a house with this little, old, angry man who kept beating him up." Stiles took a breath.

"One day he was cleaning out the basement, the basement was where his dad kept the freezer he got locked in, so he was already on edge, and his dad came home drunk in the middle of the afternoon. Now, I'm not opposed to a little day drinking,"

"You're nineteen!" Derek whacked him on the back of the head.

"So what? Like you stayed sober your entire childhood!" Stiles glared, but wasn't deterred from finishing his story. "Anyway, he was drunk. He came stomping down the stairs, demanding to see the clean basement. Now, nobody had cleaned the basement in about twenty years. Isaac had been given three hours maybe to clean it.

"As soon as his angry dad came running down the stairs, demanding he get in the freezer for not finishing his work, he freaked. It wasn't the first time; he'd done it with teachers and other kids at school, but not like this. His dad came at him, and he just sort of pushed back. His dad fell over a box and smashed his head against a mirror. No jury would convict him because of everything he'd gone through, and that fact that it was self-defense." Stiles shrugged. "Camden never really forgave him for it. Plus, everybody treats Isaac like he's breakable, and fragile. Camden's jealous."

"He told you all of that?" Derek couldn't believe that anyone would share something like that. He would want to keep it pushed as far away as possible.

"He told the group." Seeing the blank look on Derek's face Stiles extrapolated. "Support group? The one I'm in? Did I not tell you about that?" Derek shook his head. "Oh, well basically it's just a bunch of us getting together with our counselor, Ms. Morrell, and we talk about problems we've had involving relatives. Me, Erica, Isaac, Boyd, and Lydia met there." He paused. "Well, I knew Lydia from school years ago, but she doesn't remember." He scoffed. "So much for first love!"

"Wow. You go cause of your mom?" Stiles didn't really want to talk about it, but he could see that it was helping Derek ignore his sisters' pain, so he did.

"Yeah, after my mom died I got really bad panic attacks, and couldn't sleep. I started freaking out. I actually had to go to Eichen house for a while. I kept falling to sleep, but thinking I was awake, or vice versa. Wasn't as bad as some of the other guys, though." Stiles seemed eager to stop talking about himself.

"Erica got," He made a face, "Violated by an uncle, who died the day after she told someone. She feels a ton of guilt. Boyd's sister died, he feels responsible. Lydia's parents dumped her with a nanny and moved to the Bahamas." He kicked at the floor with his sneaker. Derek watched the movement. A thought occurred to him.

"I never asked, why the sharpie?" Derek motioned to Stiles sneakers. "Oh, sometimes I have a really great thought, but no paper. The shoes don't mind," He smiled up at the older man. Huh, Derek thought. That was actually quite brilliant.

Melissa the nurse stepped out of Laura's room. "The baby's here." Both Derek and Camden started to the door. "Derek?" Melissa questioned. "Laura wants to see you." Camden shot him a nasty look, and sat down in the plastic chair. Derek took a breath. Time to see little Laura.


	10. Rule 10

Rule #10) all's well that ends well. (unless it doesn't end well, then it sucks.)

"Hey guys." Derek took a small step into Laura's hospital room. "How's the baby?" Laura grinned proudly and held up a shriveled prune. "What do you think?" Derek recoiled in shock.

"Are babies supposed to be that ugly?" He asked, not entirely sure he wanted to know the answer. Laura gasped and snatched her baby back. "Don't listen to him, you're beautiful! He's just jealous because a baby is prettier than him!" Derek glared at the baby.

"Oh don't worry, Derek! You're still my favorite guy," Laura smiled. Her face was bright red and sweaty, but she was still beautiful. Derek leaned in to take a closer look at the baby.

"Um, Laura? I'm pretty sure it's a girl,"

"WHAT!?" Laura's loud shriek rang throughout the ER.

Xxxx

"Are you going to let Camden in?" Laura set her jaw. "No way. He's the ass who put me here."

"Laura, I think he really wants to see you." She sighed. "Fine!"

Derek stepped out into the hall and motioned Camden in. He moved to sit next to Stiles. Stiles moved away. "Hey Stiles, what's up?" Stiles turned away. Now that the adrenaline from earlier had worn off, he remembered why he was mad at Derek. And he planned on ignoring him until he went away. He didn't.

"Derek, go away."

"I thought we were getting along! What happened? Is it my sister?" Stiles turned to look at him.

"You have to stop blaming other people for your problems!" Stiles yelled. Derek was dumbfounded.

"What are you talking about? We were getting on just fine not five minutes ago!" Derek took a few steps towards Stiles, but for every move he made forward Stiles moved two spaces back.

"When you were upset, yeah, maybe. Because I didn't want you to be upset! But now, no. You're just using me! Thanks for the heads up, by the way." Stiles shot glares to each Derek, Malia, and Cora. In turn, each look alternately taken aback and shocked.

"She told me everything, okay! I know all about you and your stupid game!" What game?

"What game, Stiles?" Derek was seriously getting tired of all the yelling. It seemed they couldn't be in the same room for more than a couple minutes without starting a fight over something. "What game!" Derek caught Stiles lean forearm in his large hand to stop him from moving. Stiles screwed up his face in anger. "Goddamnit Stiles!" Derek yelled, thumping his hands against the wall Stiles was backed against. He could feel his face turning bright red with rage, but he didn't care.

Stiles tried to push Derek off of him, but the larger man wouldn't move, staying uncomfortably close, his nose nearly touching Stiles nose, the friction from the both of their jeans rubbing together making Stiles feel light-headed. He knew he probably shouldn't enjoy the feeling of being trapped, Derek's thick fingers digging bruises into his upper arms, but knowing didn't stop him from leaning his face up to Derek's, begging to be kissed. Derek for his part, did try to resist, but a willing Stiles, shoved against a wall, vulnerable and silent, was too much to handle. Derek was never very good at doing the right thing, anyway.

The kiss was violent. It was all pressure and tongues and teeth. Stiles wanted it to stop, but he couldn't bring himself to tear away from the sensation.

"Oh, Stiles. I told you this would happen. It always does with him. That's something we have in common," Derek whirled around at the sound of the familiar, goading voice. A voice that haunted his nightmares. It couldn't be. But it was.

The first thing Derek noticed about Kate was the tight leopard print dress she was wearing, far too high to be appropriate for any public place. The second thing Derek noticed was lost in the roar he heard in his ears at seeing her. He spun away from Stiles, intent on protecting him from her wily ways and grasping fingers. His jaw hit the floor as Stiles maneuvered his way around Derek to run forward to Kate, and wrap his arms around her middle.

"Stiles…." He stood staring at the sight in front of him. A sight he hadn't even thought he'd ever see. Kate was smoothing Stiles hair with her left hand, wiggling her right at Derek suggestively, and whispering soothing words into his ear. Derek caught the occasional 'son of a bitch. No really, his mom's a bitch,' and, 'if he ever touches you again I'll punch out his teeth.'

"What. The hell. Do you think. You're doing." Derek spun around as Cora launched herself at Kate, who pulled Stiles in front of her as a shield. Cora's nails raked down Stiles cheek, red lines immediately surfacing, blood pooling in one of the shallow scratches. He gave Derek a broken look.

"I know we fought a lot, and had a lot of misunderstandings, but I really thought you were somebody I might love." He gave a short laugh. "Guess I was wrong. Least I get the last laugh. Never did manage to get me into bed, did you? My virginity's intact." He scoffed. That was the last thing he cared about right now, but judging by the look of utter horror on Derek's face, it made him feel pretty damn bad about himself. Stiles was going to call that a win.

Derek found himself surrounded by a mob of Stiles angry friends. So far, he'd only been forced to face the wrath of them separately, but they were all teaming up against him now. It was slightly terrifying. Derek tried to shoulder his way through the mob, but they wouldn't let him anywhere near Stiles. Kate pulled Stiles towards the exit, her fingernails digging into his upper arm.

"How dare you!" Lydia glared daggers at Derek, unsure of exactly why he wanted Stiles virginity, but furious none-the-less. Jackson the Hollister model smirked behind her. Something inside Derek snapped. He lost it, reaching out and punching Jackson in the face. He pushed through the crowd around him, not caring as he knocked a few teens over.

"Stiles, wait! We need to talk!" But Stiles was too far gone to hear. Or even care.

Xxxx

"Honey, please. If I had known about this," Camden motioned helplessly at the sleeping baby in his girlfriends' arms, "I would have done more to help!" He gently rubbed her arm with his fingers.

"I didn't want you to know! Obviously." Laura muttered, glancing at her newborn. "Are you upset?" Camden reached out to grab her chin. He pulled her face to look at his. "Laura, of course not! We did something so special here. This is a miracle. I always knew I wanted kids, and I love you more than anything. I wouldn't want anyone else to be the mother of my daughter." He took a deep breath. "Which is why I'd like you to be my wife." He glanced at her hopefully. Laura looked up at him, eyes shining.

"Yes! I would love to! We can be a big family: you, me, Isaac, and the baby!" Derek coughed.

"Laura."

"Oh, and Derek."

"Laura!" Derek practically yelled. "This is great and all, but I need help!" Laura patted the edge of the bed. "Come forward you will, and hear my great wisdom." Derek rolled his eyes, and joined his new family on the hospital bed.

Xxxx

The first thing Stiles noticed when he walked in his front door was a lack of light. The second thing he noticed was lost in the bout of spluttering and angry hand gestures he made upon seeing the candles and romantic dinner.

"What the hell? How did this get here?" He stepped forward to read the place card. "Ugh! Stupid Derek thinking he can win me back with fancy food and romancy stuff!" He threw the note to the ground, telling himself he was too mature to crush it under his heel. He wasn't. 'I don't have to take this!' he thought, and whipped out his cell phone to call Derek.

"Stiles, I want to explain!" Stiles turned to see Derek brooding in the shadows. "Speak of the devil! Here he is. Just the man I DIDN'T want to see!" Stiles turned his back and folded his arms, determined not to let Derek hear the sniffle he let out. Derek did. Moving forward to embrace the smaller man, he tried to remember why he thought this was a good idea. Stiles shrugged his attempts at comfort off the first few times, but eventually gave in. It felt so nice to be wrapped in Derek's big arms. Before he got too comfortable, though, a thought occurred.

"Hey! How the hell did you get into my house? Breaking and entering is like, the epitome of not-romantic!" Stiles gave Derek's (rock-hard) chest a shove. It didn't move an inch. "Have you been doing plyometrics? You feel more—" He stopped himself. Not the time to drool over Derek Hale's god-like body. Derek shrugged and looked uncomfortable.

"Isaac let me in." Goddamnit! Why had he given Isaac a key? Stiles tilted his face to look Derek in the eye.

"This was the worst idea. Ever!" Derek looked down sheepishly. Stiles caught his face. He wanted Derek to see that he was deadly serious. "Over the course of our relationship, you have had some pretty shitty ideas, so it is saying a lot, but this really takes the cake! You come into my house uninvited in the middle of the freaking night, set up a creepy dinner that looks like it was stolen from the set of psycho," (He was lying, of course, the dinner looked quite nice), "And wait for me to get home. What part of this seemed like a good idea?" Stiles yelled the last nine words, venom flying through the air. Derek flinched.

"I just wanted you to see how sorry I am,"

"Sorry for what? I thought you didn't do anything?" Stiles scoffed. Derek looked at him, heartbroken. Why couldn't Stiles just see that he was a good guy?

"Stiles? Are you ready?" A seductive voice called from the doorway. Derek and Stiles leaned over to look simultaneously, Derek's hands tightening in his embrace of Stiles. Kate stood in the hall, holding a giant box of condoms and wearing lingerie.

"Oops, didn't know you had company!" She tittered, not looking at all fazed at being caught in her underwear (slutty man-eaters they were) standing in a teenage boy's living room. Derek turned to look incredulously at Stiles who hid his face in his hands, tips of his ears bright red.

"I thought you were waiting for someone special." He deadpanned, not letting on how cold his insides had gotten. Stiles mumbled a response through his fingers.

"It seemed like a good idea. Get it over with so you won't see me as a prize anymore."

Derek was dumbfounded. Of course he saw Stiles as a prize, but because he was something to be treasured, loved. Not because he was untouched and Derek wanted to ruin that! Kate wiggled her fingers, "Boy's, ready?"

"Stiles, listen to me. This doesn't mean anything to her! She just wants to ruin you for some sick game! She's using you!" Stiles ripped his arms out of Derek's hold.

"Maybe I don't care." He muttered, the quiver in his voice giving him away. Derek shook his head.

"You waited for so long, are you really gonna throw that away over some imagined slight, just to hurt me?" Stiles stayed silent, his back to Derek.

"Let me try this a different way. Do you know who took MY virginity?" Derek asked. Stiles didn't answer, but Derek could see his head turn slightly.

"Kate." Stiles recoiled in shock. "Yeah, I knew her that long ago. Whatever lies she told you are just that—lies!" Stiles turned slightly, the shock he felt reflected on his face. Behind him, Kate appeared to be struggling for words.

"Are you really going to believe him? After everything? You've been on three dates in your life, one was Danny trying to help you figure out your sexuality, and the other was Heather trying to lose her virginity. The first two were agendas about sex, why is it so hard to believe that the last would be? He did what I told you, didn't he? Took you home? But not to his place, no. He could leave easier in the morning if it was your house." She spat, advancing on the boys. Derek felt his heart turn to ice.

"You mean like what you did to me? When you destroyed my heart?" He turned to Stiles. "Go ahead. Do it. Sleep with her. But don't expect me to be here when you realize she was faking it." Derek blew out a candle, "Have a good night." He strolled out the door, the would-be casualty in his step lost as his breathing grew ragged. He could hear Stiles and Kate talking softly behind the door. Not that he was listening. 'Jeez. He really hates me.'

Xxxx

"What now?" Derek opened his mouth to respond to the pointed question his sister shot at him, but she held up a hand.

"You know what. I don't want to know. Maybe something's wrong with you." Derek recoiled like she slapped him. Laura nodded and went on. "You keep having problems in relationships, you blame them. Maybe it's you!" She threw her hands up in the air. "Whoever it is, I'm done hearing about it!" She pressed the call button on her armrest. "Nurse? Can you send in security, please? I think things are about to get violent." She eyed Derek's clenched jaw, and curled fists. "Very violent."

xxxx

After Derek was unceremoniously thrown out on his ass, he headed home. Where better to feel pitiful and self-loathing than in the comfort of your own house?

About three hours into Derek's ice-cream and Real Housewives marathon a knock came at the door. He grunted, and pulled himself off the couch. Who the hell dared to interrupt him at a time like this?

He yanked the door open. Stiles stood soaked and panting, the sweatshirt Derek had dropped on his floor in their mad dash to the hospital draped over his thin shoulders. He opened his mouth, and said the three words Derek wanted to hear most.

"You were right."


	11. Rule 11

Rule #11) Sorry is Best Given in The Form of A Song.

As soon as the door opened on Stiles' sopping wet form Derek felt his heart break a little. Despite his harsh words telling anyone who would listen that he was done being there for Stiles, and that he wasn't going to comfort him when Kate tore through him for whatever self-justified reason she had, he never really intended to turn him away. Looking at the distraught man in front of him he knew he'd done the right thing. Stiles shook water out of his hair.

"You—you were right about everything." He repeated, casting his eyes to the ground, determined not to look Derek in the eyes and see the rejection there.

"Did—did you walk all the way here?" Derek squinted at the smaller brunette, who fidgeted with his sleeve uncomfortably. "Ran, actually." He responded, still not looking at Derek.

"Get inside." Derek grunted, practically dragging the boy into his house.

Xxxx

"Do you feel better?" Derek added a tenth blanket to the pile he had covered Stiles in. Stiles nodded, a small smile starting to play with his lips as his cheeks warmed up. "I never thought that when you finally got me into bed you would want me so covered up," He mused. Derek huffed indignantly. This again? Stiles rolled his eyes at the look on Derek's face.

"I know, I know. You weren't doing that, this is all a misunderstanding. You feel so bad that this came between us, and will do anything to make it up. Your sorry, and really like me. You understand if I don't want to see you again, but really hope I do. Did I get it all?" He deadpanned, blinking at Derek smugly. Derek made a sour face, but didn't respond. Stiles slugged him in the arm.

"Actually, I'm getting kind of warm. Can you help me?" Stiles struggled to poke his arms out of the bundle. Derek jumped to help him. Stiles looked around. "Do you want some help putting these blankets back before Laura notices?" Derek shook his head. He hadn't talked to Laura in a couple of hours, and he assumed she would be spending her time at the boyfriends—Camden's—house when she was discharged from the hospital.

"Laura and I aren't talking." Stiles blinked, waiting for him to go into more detail, but Derek didn't bother. "Oh—okay." He patted Derek on the arm and looked down. Derek sighed.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Stiles shook his head. "Can we forget it even happened?"

"I can. But I think the real question is can you?" Stiles looked about ready to burst into tears. "She used me!"

"I know."

"It didn't mean anything!"

"I know."

"She played me to hurt you for some twisted reason!" Derek sighed.

"I know."

"I gave her something special, something I wanted to give to you, and she threw my mistake in my face!"

"I know."

"And the worst part it, it's all my fault! I thought you were too good to be true, and it scared me! I was scared of liking—LOVING you, so I went looking for reasons to hate you. I screwed up!" 'Yes, you did.'

"No you didn't. You did what anyone would have done. She's a monster." Stiles blinked watery eyes at him. "When I was sixteen, a little while after my girlfriend died in a car accident, I met Kate. She was perfect. Loving, caring, helpful, kind, and beautiful. I loved her, and she loved me back. Until she didn't. The day she decided to burn my house down for the insurance money."

Stiles was openly gaping as Derek recounted the worst day of his life.

"It's okay. You don't have too. I know this is hard for you." Stiles gave an understanding smile, and stroked Derek's cheek. "I know you care enough about me to tell me this much, but I don't want you to hurt yourself to tell me more. Okay?" Derek smiled gratefully. Stiles took that as a promise not to push for details on what had happened with Kate.

"Do you want some ice cream?" Stiles nodded.

Xxxx

The dvd menu for the movie they'd been watching played over and over, a repetitive loop. But Stiles and Derek were too busy to notice or care. "Mmmm," Stiles sighed contentedly and pulled away from the kiss to bury his face in Derek's neck. Derek clutched the back of his hoodie tighter. This was perfect, everything he'd ever wanted. The phone next to him beeped out a text. He glanced at Stiles to see if he'd noticed, but he seemed to be asleep curled up in Derek's lap.

The text was from his little sister Cora, it read, '_reunion. Saturday. 3 o'clock. Mom says don't be late. Bring boyfriend.'_

Derek groaned. At least they weren't expecting wedding vows. Or maybe they were! He never really knew with his family.

Xxxx

"I'd love to go! Is Laura coming?" Derek shook his head.

"I don't think so. I mean, she's got the baby. It's only three days from now." Stiles visibly paled. He counted the days off on his fingers. "Crap! It's only three days away! I'm gonna need so much more time to look presentable for your folks!" Derek gave a light laugh.

"They'll love you, Stiles. You're perfect already."

"Yeah, but I still feel like I should bring pastries from my café or something," Derek smirked. "You do that and they'll love you forever,"

Stiles grinned. "That's what I want. If your family likes me you'll never give me up!" Derek tugged him closer, the small space between them disappearing as Stiles was pulled over couch cushions. "I'm never gonna give you up. No matter what." They stayed smiling at each other lovingly for a long time.

Xxxx

"What should I wear? Oh my god, I'm gonna die!" Stiles paced around his bedroom, an overwhelmed looking Scott sitting on his bed, a stack of worn clothes in his arms.

"It's gonna be fine, dude. Derek will be there." Scott rarely offered anything actually helpful, but today his encouraging words calmed Stiles down.

"Thanks dude. I should go to Derek's,"

Xxxx

Derek paced back and forth. He would almost swear he was wearing a hole in the carpet. He could hear Laura moving around upstairs, backing up boxes and slamming doors. She hadn't said a word to him when she walked in, just giving him a cold glance and breezing upstairs. Hearing the way she was tossing things around upstairs, though, he was kind of glad they weren't talking. He really didn't need something thrown at his head today. 'I've got to fix things, don't I?' He asked himself, and trudged up the stairs himself.

"Laura?" He rapped a light nock onto the door. She whirled around, furious, her eyes practically glowing red.

"What!" She growled. "I wanted to say I was sorry, and I'll make it up to you no matter what," She looked guilty.

"I'm sorry too. I was a jerk. You really weren't asking too much, I was just crabby from giving birth." They smiled at each other. Downstairs the doorbell rang. "You better go! I think Stiles is here." She pushed him towards the door. It was nice to have his sister back.

Now he just had to introduce the rest of his family to Stiles.


End file.
